Struggling to Accept Weight Gain During Pregnancy? Read This
I started telling friends and family I was pregnant as soon as I entered my second trimester. And almost immediately, the floodgates apparently also opened for people to comment on my body. To put it simply, I was shocked.
I started telling friends and family I was pregnant as soon as I entered my second trimester. And almost immediately, the floodgates apparently also opened for people to comment on my body. To put it simply, I was shocked.
From an acquaintance in my apartment building after telling her I was pregnant, “I knew you were pregnant because you’ve been looking chubby.. and you’re normally so tiny!”
From a family member, unprompted, “I gained weight all over like you when I was pregnant!”
From another acquaintance, “You haven’t popped yet, but I can tell you’re pregnant because you got bigger all over.”
From a friend, “Wow! You look so…. skinny!”
And from another family member, “You got chubby!”
I won’t lie to you: each of these comments got to me. It’s not that they were telling me any new information I didn’t already know. I live in my body every day. I very much knew I was gaining weight and that I was gaining it in places other than my belly. So did I really need the reminders that random acquaintances were noticing it too?!
I mentioned this briefly in an Instagram post last week, but the weight gain hasn’t always been comfortable. It’s not ideal when, against your expectations of only gaining weight in your belly, you realize that nothing - from bras to leggings - fits anymore because your weight gain is actually being distributed all over.
That said, despite the initial surprise and discomfort, I’m really okay my weight gain. It wasn’t what I expected, but, looking back, my expectations were pretty unrealistic anyway.
Right now, at about 23 weeks, I’m totally cool with however my body wants to gain weight. But, I know that’s easier said than done for many and, despite being excited about pregnancy, can also feel really weird.
If you’re struggling in any way to accept your pregnant, growing body, here are a few tips to help:
1. Know that there’s no standard for weight loss.
Yes, there are guidelines for each BMI range. If your BMI is “normal,” it’s recommended that you gain between 25-35 pounds.
Let’s first unpack BMI.
BMI is an outdated, overgeneralized categorization. It categorizes people based on their height and weight - that’s it - without taking any other factors into account. So, the fact that pregnancy weight gain recommendations are based off ambiguous BMI numbers should already come as enough of a red flag.
Additionally, there’s not much evidence showing that weight gain outside of this 25 to 35 pound range is actually harmful. Of course, it won’t benefit the health of you and your baby to binge eat every day and gain 100 pounds, but truly, weight gain in excess of 35 pounds is okay.
In fact, research shows that while gaining less than 25 pounds (again, for “normal BMI”) might lead to preterm birth, gaining more than 35 pounds is associated with pretty minimal risk for you and your baby.
I don’t specialize in prenatal nutrition, but as I see it as a dietitian: as long as you’re listening to your body, honoring your hunger and aiming to get in as many different nutrients as you can for you and your baby, no matter what you gain, you’re doing okay.
2. Stop comparing - we’re all different.
For me personally, the most unhelpful thing during pregnancy has been comparing myself to friends during their pregnancies. This was even true while I was trying to conceive (and gave me terrible anxiety in the process!). We are all so different. There’s really no point in comparing.
When I first started telling friends I was pregnant, many kindly offered advice. Among this advice, many friends gave me clothing advice. I was surprised that 2 separate friends told me something along the lines of, “I held out until XX weeks to wear maternity jeans, but you should definitely buy them sooner!”
It was as if the longer you could go without wearing maternity jeans, the better you were doing at this whole weight gain thing (insert eye roll here). And they waited a long time, but I shouldn’t!
(FYI: I wore maternity jeans as early as I wanted because they’re comfortable as hell. And you should too).
We are all different. We all gain weight in different ways. Our bodies are all so beautifully different before pregnancy, so really, why would pregnancy be any different?
For this reason, I don’t think I’ll ever publicly share the exact number of weight I gain. I’ve seen people (I assume innocently) share how they gained 32, 34, 40 pounds, etc., and truly, I don’t see how that’s helpful. All that number does is cause someone to question or compare their own weight gain. No thank you.
3. Appreciate what your body is doing - growing a human!!
This is probably the most important tip of all. Yes, your body is changing. You may be seeing numbers on the scale that seem scary. But here’s the crucial thing to remember: your body is growing a HUMAN. You’re creating a tiny life made up completely of you and your partner (or donor, etc.), and that is something beyond incredible.
I’ve briefly mentioned before that I experienced pregnancy loss on my journey to conceive. And it’s made me extra grateful for this life growing inside of me. But, I don’t think you have to experience hardship in order to appreciate pregnancy. The fact that we, as women, can create, grow and bring babies into world is an actual miracle.
It’s easy to feel uncomfortable with a body that feels so foreign. Your boobs grow, your feet swell and you gain weight in different places. But at the end of the day, remind yourself that these changes are all necessary in order to do one of the most amazing things a person can do.
If you can appreciate that, I promise, it makes the idea of gaining weight during pregnancy seem so trivial.
—
At the end of the day, we all will have vastly different pregnancy experiences - from conception to delivery. And I’m not saying it’s not okay to feel self conscious from time to time. It’s a completely valid emotion given all the changes you’re going through (and the hormones!).
But, remember that we’re all different. Listen to, and trust, your body. And try to remind yourself of the miracle that’s happening in your body and appreciate how incredible that is.
And, when anyone tries to comment on your body in a way you don’t appreciate, feel free to kindly them why that’s inappropriate. Or simply change the subject. A classic “so, how about the year 2020?!” is always a great way to abruptly end any conversation :)
Want more tips on how to listen to your body and create a healthy relationship with food? Check out my membership program, All Foods Fit, with 12 thorough lessons to teach easy ways to create a healthy relationship with food. Or, check out my e-book, 7 Days to Make All Foods Fit, to learn a step by step guide to create a healthier relationship with food in just 7 days.
