Food Freedom and Weight Loss: Can They Coexist?
By: Sammi Haber Brondo | NYC Dietitian
Can you work towards food freedom while also trying to lose weight? The short answer: no. The longer answer: it’s complicated.
This is a totally valid question and concern. Seriously, I’ve heard countless variations of it.
“I want to work on my relationship with food, but I also want to lose a few pounds” or, “I want to eat intuitively, but I was told to need to lose weight for medical reasons.”
I don’t blame you at all for wanting both. In fact, I totally empathize with it.
I’ve seen so many influencers - even health experts - claim that their “way of eating” isn’t a diet – it’s a lifestyle that’ll also help you lose weight and create a healthier relationship with food.
But unfortunately, both can’t exist. Because to lose weight, you have to follow some kind of food rules. You have to watch what you eat and eliminate something - whether that’s extra calories or complete food groups in total.
And if you’re doing that, you’re not able to focus fully on a healthy relationship with food.
Let’s dive in a little deeper.
You are not wrong for wanting to lose weight.
First and foremost, this needs to be said. You’re not bad or wrong for wanting to lose weight. In fact, I don’t blame you.
We live in a society that values thinness above all else.
The most overt examples: article headlines that tell you how to “lose 10 pounds in a week!” or “get abs in 20 minutes!”
Less overt are other things, like influencers posing at their most flattering angles or telling you what they eat in a day while flaunting their bodies (the indirect message here: eat like this and you can look like me!).
Or worse, medical professionals who literally tell people to lose weight. High cholesterol? Lose weight. Seeing your doctor for back pain? Lose weight.
And then on top of that, there’s the fact that people in larger bodies are straight up just treated differently. If you go to your doctor as a thin person with high cholesterol, you may be told that it’s genetic and/or given medication. If you see your doctor as a fat person with high cholesterol, you’ll most likely first be told to lose weight.
All of these examples are so messed up. And I can’t blame you at all for wanting to lose weight in a society that so (wrongly) values thinness.
And while I can’t change society, what I can unequivocally tell you is this: you can be healthy at any size. Your weight and body shape have absolutely nothing to do with your health status or your redeeming qualities as a person.
If you’re trying to lose weight, it’ll be impossible to create a healthy relationship with food.
While I don’t fault you for wanting to lose weight, doing so can make it really hard to focus on your relationship with food.
Trying to lose weight places focus on external factors, like the scale and clothing sizes.
Creating a healthy relationship with food focuses on internal factors, like using your own hunger cues and cravings to determine what to eat and what feels good in your body.
Unfortunately, focusing on external factors - like weight loss - will distract you from focusing on those internal factors, like your own hunger cues.
This is crucial to understand. And it’s especially important to remember amidst any diet that promises you weight loss AND a healthy relationship with food. The two just don’t coexist.
Think of it this way: let’s say you’re working on honoring your hunger and cravings. It’s 1pm on a cold day, you’re super hungry for lunch, and a warm bowl of mac and cheese sounds like exactly what you want to eat.
This is a huge step – you know that you’re super hungry and figured out exactly what sounds good.
When you’re working on your relationship with food alone, you’d work on eating this bowl of mac and cheese, enjoying it and letting it satisfy you.
But, when you’re also working on weight loss, you might try to make the mac and cheese healthier by adding some zucchini noodles to it. Or you might serve yourself what seems like the right “serving size,” even though you’re hungry for more. Even more drastically, you might convince yourself that you shouldn’t have the mac and cheese at all.
Please know that I’m not discounting health here. Food freedom is not anti-health, and there’s nothing wrong with adding zucchini noodles to your mac and cheese. If you want them.
If you want zucchini noodles with your mac and cheese, you should eat them! But again, when you’re first working on your relationship with food, it’s really important to let go of all those diet culture rules and “should” do’s.
They seriously get in the way of listening to and reconnecting with your body.
Instead, work on feeling comfortable in your current body.
I completely recognize that this might sound like one of the hardest things you can do. Especially when you want to, or have been told to, lose weight.
But often, comfort with food goes hand in hand with feeling comfortable in your body.
The more you’re able to tune into your internal cues and listen to your body, the more aligned you’ll feel with it.
Once you start to feel more confident in your food choices and in the way you eat, a lot of the times, feeling more comfortable in your body comes right with that.
It takes a lot to recognize your own hunger cues and honor them. And once you do, it’s an amazing feeling to feel so naturally in tune with what your body needs.
When that happens, you often can’t help but feel grateful for and proud of your body. And this feeling goes a long way in respecting your current body where it’s at.
Keep in mind: you do not have to love your body every single day. That’s super unrealistic.
But it’s helpful to try to treat your body with respect as best as you can. And treating your body with respect includes nourishing it properly and not restricting your hunger on some crazy diet.
At the end of the day, we all have different body shapes and genetics. No one is meant to look the exact same. Even you weren’t meant to look the exact same your entire life! If you’re aiming for an unattainable high school, or wedding weight, it might be time to set more reasonable goals.
Again, you aren’t wrong at all for wanting to lose weight. I know there can be so much behind that.
When you want to work on your relationship with food though, one of the most helpful things you can do is to let go of that notion.
Because when you’re focused on your weight, in any capacity, you can’t fully let go and focus on your relationship with food.
When it comes to food freedom and weight loss, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. But when it comes to food freedom alone, you can definitely eat and enjoy the cake (that was so cheesy I know, I’ll see myself out now).
Here are a few Instagram accounts I recommend following for more amazing resources: @find.food.freedom, @tiffany.ima, @antidietplan, @theshirarose
Disclaimer: I am a thin, white woman and because of that, my experiences are different than those in larger bodies and people of color. Please know that I am aware of this and continue to learn in order to broaden my understanding and inclusivity.
Want more tips on creating an easy, sustainable healthy relationship with food? Check out my membership program, All Foods Fit, with 12 thorough lessons to teach easy ways to create a healthy relationship with food. Or, check out my e-book, 7 Days to Make All Foods Fit, to learn a step by step guide to create a healthier relationship with food in just 7 days.
